Dislike

Been seeing plenty of posts from a particular friend that kind of make me want to say, "Friend, stop! Just STOP!" The thing is, I find my friend's posts unbecoming for someone like us. It's better described in our vernacular tongue but I'd rather not say it. I'm not in denial. Neither am afraid to face my friend should this post reach ta. I just think it's still inappropriate. I'm still a friend. 

For now I am trying to understand from my friend's end and point of view. I'm getting more understanding in theory but I don't take it to heart. We have different values and background and destination to take. My friend is also too young to understand some things. I'll just leave my friend as it is.

Now Playing: Susie Suh - Good Times

A Breakfast to Remember

This was taken when Erika and I had breakfast together. I think that was the first. On the last day of the month of June and the last day of the first half of the year, apparently.

It was quite a memorable moment. No. It was really a memorable moment, which lasted for an hour, because during all those time something at the back of my mind was gathering tidbits of memories not related to what Erika and I were talking about.

Also on this day, I confirmed something about my curiosity. My assessment was right and I was glad. I still am.

I ate a lot during this breakfast. Erika too. I had garlic rice and beef tapa with egg as well as macaroni soup. As for my coffee, it was pure black just as I want it to be.

Now Playing: Queenie and Patricia - Sound of Silence

March 11/12, 2017

Just a little past midnight... Gang complete, sort of.

14 years of friendship.

2016 Autumn Feels

This is so long over due. This happened late October 2016.

When I first read Ate Kay's text about Tito Adolf's return to the Lord, my first reaction was one like being pushed back. There was that feeling of "suspension" because it's over for Tito Adolf here on earth. Here on earth.

The first words that I said was a thanksgiving, which has been my dominant feeling and expression throughout the wake until the burial day. I said, "Thank You, LORD, for the life of Tito Adolf." It was an initial reaction that has become persistent and led to more positive attitude.

Knowing what happened to Tito Adolf, how his family and friends pleaded for his complete healing and full recovery yet without God's approval, I dare say my faith increased.

Korean Dinner at Ye Dang

16 January 2017. Monday

My college friend Angie messaged me early January inviting me for dinner (or lunch?) because she's been craving for Korean food at the time. Truth be told, another friend of mine invited me for Korean barbecue before Angie did but, even as of writing, I still haven't had Korean barbecue with this another friend of mine. :(

So I did the scouting for Korean restaurant. I remembered seeing some along Meralco Avenue, basically near Metrowalk, whenever I commute. I decided to go for Ye Dang and it was easily agreed with.

There were just the two of us but we ordered as if there were two more people with us. *shrugs*

We ordered a beef dish, which had a very tender meat that I still long for it, and seafood noodle. Oh, we also had an egg dish that was technically an omelette Korean style but I forgot the name. The side dishes were given so we had those. Of course, a Korean meal isn't complete without soju so we had a bottle. The one we had has the face of IU, whom I knew because of The Producers.

We may have had a lot of food but we also had a lot of stories. Well, Angie did the story telling, as she's always had, while I was the good listener. I've always been, or at least mostly, the listener. I enjoyed listening to her but I'm not sharing anything except for the fact that the stories she shared inspired and made me wish I could write a screenplay for it.

Now Playing: Lea Salonga - Reflection

Binondo

I saw this article from Manila Bulletin's Panorama about Binondo that made me long to visit the place as well as others that had been historically significant.

A couple of weeks after reading this, I saw Dr. Crickette's post about "Planning A Binondo Foodtrip." Man, I haven't really thought of going on a food trip in Binondo but the Panorama article and the blog entry caused me a change of heart. Because, why not?

Speaking of change, I decided to invite two groups of my friends for a food trip in Binondo, separately. Both agreed though one eventually made some changes. We'd still have food trip but no longer in Binondo. Doesn't matter, because what's important is that we'll be together having fun.

Now Playing: Idina Mendez - Defying Gravity

Relentless

I woke up from a seven straight hour sleep last Friday, which was cool. I wish my sleep will always be like that.

I also woke up last Friday feeling calm about a preoccupation, which prompted me to meet with my INTJ friend Monika. About the calm, it's a feeling (apparently I have them too) where my recent preoccupation hasn't affected me much. Perhaps it's because I somehow poured out my thoughts about it. Cheers, Nika!

The calm got me thinking it'd continue. But like the calm in a storm, it was only temporary. The preoccupation has returned with such persistence that I could dare say it has become an hourly thing. Good luck to me.

Good luck indeed because this preoccupation is simply relentless. It's like a heartbeat. It never stops. Sometimes I don't notice it only to realize later that I've unconsciously thought about it. Sometimes I would stop it, sometimes I end up making a 'follow through.'

I'm curious how to stop my preoccupation like, is it possible to have a day or even an hour when I don't think of it?

Now Playing: Susie Suh - I Do

Black Pearl Food Trip

Yesterday was Sunday and that meant another visit to Legazpi Sunday Market. This time I was with Eycee. We had an Indonesian meal plus chicken and pork isaw (intestine). Of course the latter was not mine.

I also bought smores and red velvet cakes as they were offered for P100.00 together. Yeah! I just felt like having some sweets to share with my officemates.

Besides Eycee, Jonel was also able to have a share. We ate the cakes while watching Kababalaghan on ABS-CBN. We only watched it because it was hosted by Noli De Castro and, of course, reminiscent of his Magandang Gabi Bayan - All Souls' Day special back in our childhood years.

Now Playing: Eraserheads - Huwag Mo Nang Itanong

Dinner with Friends at TOSH

September 23 was set to be a dinner date with my GC friends at The Old Spaghetti House (TOSH). The last time we had a meal was a lunch at Rack's. It was Sis Aya's birthday.

We decided to have dinner at TOSH because of it's September eat-all-you-can promo. Just P149 for pasta-all-you-can and additiona; P50 if you want unlimited pizza.

Unfortunately, not everyone was able to make it because of some circumstances.

The photo on the right was one of the only four pictures we were able to have. The others were just the same, all post dinner shots. My apologies for the blur though.. 😌 Monika has better shot but I couldn't post it here.

I supposed we were too hungry to bother taking photo of our food before or while eating. 😅 🍕🍕🍕🍕🍝🍝🍝🍝😍

When topics over dinner range from arts, engineering, psychology, psychiatry, physics and other applied science and math, extreme sports, medicine, crimes, health and fitness, what “tosh” means, work, people, travelling, life in general, senate hearing, a bit of ‘DC universe’ reference, and a lot more in no particular order… it means any of the following:

• You have awesome friends who can talk about literally anything in the universe in 2 hours;
• Or, there was an INTJ and an INTP while the others were cool enough to listen and not stop them; 😜
• You haven’t seen each other for a while, like for almost 2 Olympics, or just a fortnight;
• It was an eat-all-you-can meal and someone ate worth 3 or 4 meals in two rounds; 😮
• All of the above.

I must say I’m blessed and grateful to meet and have such people in my life. ☺

Now Playing: Martine McBride - I Love You

On Chinese post against Pres. Duterte's policy

This is my comment to my friend's FB post sharing the article "Duterte’s war on drugs in the Philippines can’t hide his policy incompetence" from South China Morning Post:

I am hoping for our legislators to be very firm protecting and standing in behalf of our constitution and nation (tahimik kasi si SC). Should there be anything that could hurt us although 'one' could play around the constitution, may our legislators outsmart that one. May they not forget that their office is of equal 'standing' before our constitution.

It's good that the admin has the support of the mass but we can't always trust the masa. They don't always see the big picture and typical of us Filipino is being short-sighted. Ang Pilipinas ay hindi lang nabubuhay at mabubuhay during the president's six-year term. At wala tayong reelection. Kailangan practical and helpful for long-term implementation ang ginagawa. A drug-free Philippines is definitely good for our present and future, but how we achieve that has repercussions even now and of course in the future.

There are simply a lot of unnecessary comments and expressions from someone on top. Sayang ang 'puso' niya para sa bayan.

I'm neither an anti-Duterte nor pro-Duterte. I'm thankful we have a president like Rodrigo Duterte but it also concerns me how he deals with the international community especially with our allies. I am not a pro-America but they are an ally. We can't just dismiss them but I don't want their unnecessary interference, both for their and our good.

Now Playing: The Corrs - Radio

On people blaming Ferdinand Marcos

Post below was my comment to a friend's post in Facebook last week. I thought I'd keep a copy here in my blog.

It's annoying that a lot of people are blaming former President Ferdinand Marcos for all the troubles during the Martial Law. Although I firmly believe that Marcos should still be accountable of his term and administration, it doesn't mean salo niya ang lahat.

People, and whoever has the legal means, should prove in the court of law all their accusations and not just with stories. Para matapos na. I'm not saying the killings and rape stories are not true. Ang daming pamilya ang nag-suffer dahil may kaanak silang na-torture, rape, at napatay. Legit 'yun. Pero sino ba talaga ang totoo at dapat managot?

What if hindi pala lahat ng bintang nila kay FM ay totoo? What if hindi pala talaga kasalanan ni FM 'yun? Pero si FM at ang Marcos family sinisisi nila. Nasaan ang hustisya r'on? Magdusa man ang mga Marcos kung hindi naman sila ang totoong may kasalanan, wala rin ang akala nilang hustisya. Malaya pa rin ang sino man dapat managot. Hindi 'yun makatarungan.

Kung si FM naman talaga ang dapat na managot sa lahat, tapusin na ang kaso. Isara na at ibigay na ang hustisya sa mga biktima. 'Wag na patagalin dahil ang daming tao ang nagdurusa at umaasa ng hustisya.

Now Playing: Susie Suh - Here With Me

Random comment #1

It's my comment on a friend's Facebook post against the alleged tactics of the "yellow army" or Liberal Party supporters with the recent appearance of Matobato as a witness on the Senate Hearing against alleged extra-judicial killings during the administration's anti-illegal drugs campaign.

It's annoying that a lot of people are blaming former President Ferdinand Marcos for all the troubles during the Martial Law. Although I firmly believe that Marcos should still be accountable of his term and administration, it doesn't mean salo niya ang lahat.

People, and whoever has the legal means, should prove in the court of law all their accusations and not just with stories. Para matapos na. I'm not saying the killings and rape stories are not true. Ang daming pamilya ang nag-suffer dahil may kaanak silang na-torture, rape, at napatay. Legit 'yun. Pero sino ba talaga ang totoo at dapat managot?

What if hindi pala lahat ng bintang nila kay FM ay totoo? What if hindi pala talaga kasalanan ni FM 'yun? Pero si FM at ang Marcos family sinisisi nila. Nasaan ang hustisya r'on? Magdusa man ang mga Marcos kung hindi naman sila ang totoong may kasalanan, wala rin ang akala nilang hustisya. Malaya pa rin ang sino man dapat managot. Hindi 'yun makatarungan.

Kung si FM naman talaga ang dapat na managot sa lahat, tapusin na ang kaso. Isara na at ibigay na ang hustisya sa mga biktima. 'Wag na patagalin dahil ang daming tao ang nagdurusa at umaasa ng hustisya.

I'm posting it here kasi ang haba. Hahaha.

And for the record, I find it sad that people see the Liberal Party supporters in general as if everyone thinks, says, and acts the same way. I have a friend who is a strong supporter of the Liberal Party yet he thinks on his own, logically and sensibly. We need more people like him, not just among the LP supporters but also among other politicians' or parties' supporters.

Now Playing: Up Dharma Down - Tadhana

After 7 years

10 September 2016.

After 7 years, my friends from GC and I met again. Actually, there were only a few of us but it was a good mini-reunion.

Aya, the girl in white, was about to celebrate her birthday and decided to spend a lunch with us so there we were (from left to right: Monika, Aya, Tessa, Kenneth, Eugene, Karen, Christine, me). We had late lunch at Rack's in SM North then went to have coffee at Cleo's (?) doughnut at the Sky Garden.

Photo taken from Aya's FB.

Have a break, chicken break!

My GC friends used to say that. I miss those peeps.

Whenever there are a lot of deliverables, I usually go on working without break but I've learned to force myself into taking one. First, it is my right. Not that I am not capable of giving it up, but secondly it's unhealthy. I don't want to make it a habit like almost a second nature for I know it'll just take a toll into my system. And I'd be the one suffering in the long haul.

So there, I'm taking this moment to do something else like writing here.

Today's my second time into graveyard shift. It's a 9PM-6AM sched but I came in last night for 10PM because when I woke up last night, I was a little feverish. I left the office at 12NN yesterday so I guess my system just wanted to "collapse" especially after coming from a sleepless weekend because I met with my friends after three years.

These past days got me thinking and reckoning a lot of things.

Now Playing: Susie Suh - Won't You Come Again

Weird but interesting dreams

June 7. 

We were riding a bus with two of the passengers being Jady and Roland M. The latter got off when the bus stopped in I don't know where.

June 7, again.

It involved a classroom setting where some of my classmates, not sure when in my student life, were also present. But I am sure to be sitting opposite Neko who was on my left. We were sitting on the front row.

Someone was speaking in front and drew close to Neko and I, sitting as he was saying something about Canada, for which we reacted with amusement and 'low' five. I mentioned to Neko, "Si Kim!" as I remembered (according to my dream) our friend/sister Kimberly saying something about Canada.

The man also whispered very close to me of which I remember saying, "I was actually thinking of Canada," and "Thank you." The gratitude was in response to something he did, which was very intimate.

I woke to this dream confused because the one who whispered to Neko and I was from Germany but now working in Switzerland, I believe. And with regard to my statement about Canada, I don't remember saying that in real life.

June 8. I was pregnant, about 4 months in gestation I think.

Recent Preoccupation

So I found out that one of my friends in the office already resigned. I just saw her a day or two ago but she didn't say a thing. That makes me sad.

This reminds me of my recent preoccupation, something that I am looking forward to.

I just started watching another TV series. I didn't have a clear picture about it but as I've gone past the pilot episode, I realized that what I am watching is a strong reminder of my recent preoccupation. It's pointing me to something.

What's confusing, however, is my recent strong urge to *beep.* It feels like everything within me points to *beep* so what the TV series is pointing me to kind of clouds my judgment.

Now I am trying to recall how this preoccupation started, like way, way back. It brought me back to a book I've read back in college. The book was Every Move She Makes by Robin Burcell. The book started everything and thinking about it, the desire is still in my heart.

The fruits of finding ways

Two separate events made me happy yesterday. The first I would like to call a "1v1" event while the next was our SERG reunion. Just the thought of the latter makes me nostalgic, happy and sad at the same time.

As for 1v1, it was the thing I was referring to on these tweets.

I only found out about the SERG reunion when I arrived in Makati from Antipolo where I've been staying since Friday night. Well, I actually arrived Saturday at around 1AM. I'm glad I saw the group 'call' lest I'd miss meeting Sir Jake, whom I last meet three years ago.

We had dinner at Giligan's in Makati Avenue. I arrived a little past 10PM because I had to bridge mid-shift to night/graveyard shift. I think I ate a lot. Also had a pint of beer, which hastened my drowsiness. But I was fighting it because I was having fun talking to my high school barkada. I dare say they're some of the people I love talking and listening to. We could talk about anything and everything under the sun, like anything and without malice.

It was already 1AM when we left. Truth be told, I didn't want the night to end. I miss them so much. Like so much. Ate Claire sent me and Kat home though I got off first because I only live at Pasong Tamo. The ride was fun and amusing. We had wrong turns but it was interesting. Made our kwentuhan extended.

Now I am wishing for another night, or day, with them soon. Hopefully we wouldn't have to wait for another three years.

Migraine ushers in Hulk and Cap

I kind of not noticed how my conversation with Monika had gone Marvel-infused. It just came naturally because I usually take reference on characters/personalities that people could easily identify.

It's good to know that you have friends who can relate. My friends are smart.

Maundy Thursday

I am thankful that I got to choose Thursday as my off-set day during this Holy Week. My real reason was Football. I decided right away with the Philippines' away match against Uzbekistan in mind then later realized that Friday would've been a better option because my regular day-off is Saturday. It was a late realization that I was willing to change, if my colleague was also and only willing. She was fine with the initial schedule we set so we stuck to it.

The Maundy Thursday - Black Saturday 12-hour shift/staff schedule was made back in Monday, or was it Tuesday. Anyway, came Monday and I got a text from Ate Kay asking if I had work on Thursday. Turned out, I could still attend the 27th NPG albeit already the last day.

My life in the past couple of weeks had been not good. It was worse than a roller coaster. To sum it up, I got face the truth, once again, that God is mighty to save. During one of the praise and worship 'sessions' we sang You're All I Need. Some of its lines say: ♫ Never let me go... Help me find the way. Bring me back to You. ♫ Indeed, even if we have been unfaithful, the Lord Jesus is and will ever be faithful. I've sang that song many times before with all sincerity especially on the "never let me go" part.

As hours passed by yesterday, I've come to be reminded about another side of God's love. I don't know if I'm using the right term, but I got to see the connection between God's love and justice in a better sense. It was like being projected before me.

Among the attributes of God, one of the most that really "ring loud" to me is God's justice. I know and believe that He is merciful, but I also know that His justice is tremendous. No one will escape it. We will all be judged. As I was saying according to what I saw and better understood yesterday, God's love draws us to Him. I was drawn Him. I have to add that His love is indeed so powerful. Love covers a multitude of sins. God's love is so powerful that once we respond to that, I mean truly respond (because it is not just about saying "I receive Your love, Lord" then do nothing after), we can be spared from the wrath of His judgment. Well, if we obey Him, we will still be judged but for us to be rewarded. So yes, everyone will be judged.

I really don't know how to put it well. Only the Holy Spirit can reveal things and the deeper things of God. Let me try nonetheless.

God's love is drawing us and is removing the fears that are appropriate of one who is guilty of sin (For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.). If I were to quote Natasha Romanov, I dare say that I have a lot of reds on my ledger. Anyway, once we truly walk in love we will be spared from judgment. Because once judgment comes, there's no escape. His mercy will not be enough to spare us. Why? Because His mercy has already been poured out before that great and awesome [judgment] day of the Lord.

Although I depict it as "mercy before justice/judgment," it's actually "judgment before mercy" for us. Let me get this straight though, between God's justice and mercy neither comes before the other. I did say, however, "judgment before mercy" because out of God's love (it will always be the reason) He showed us mercy by executing justice. How? When Jesus died on the cross to pay the penalty of our sins. That was justice, because He was merciful to us.

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 6:23). God's justice had to be met. Justice could only be served once the penalty of death is paid. Jesus Christ met that requirement. And now, here comes mercy.

Love -- mercy1 -- justice (through Christ's death) -- mercy2 -- justice/judgment

Love - It's the main reason God is so good to us. It's also the reason for all the discipline we're going through. What is man that He is mindful of us?
Mercy1 - I could't put or explain it well yet, but I'd say it's the reason 'death' in Romans 6:23 has not been fully executed to mankind.
Justice - To meet Romans 6:23, Jesus Christ died in our place. And God's requirement was met. "It is finished."
Mercy2 - As we are still in this world and still live with fleshly bodies, chances are still there that we get to sin but not deliberately. But even if deliberately, God's mercy is there. His mercies are new every morning. This mercy allows us to get out of the mud and have ourselves cleansed.

But do not be mocked. We cannot mock God. Yes, I am also talking to myself. If we do not respond to God's love and mercy appropriately, we're in for a lot of trouble on the day of judgment.

Justice/Judgment - When the day God will judge us all, all provisions for acquittal (love, mercy, grace) will no longer be available. God has given us enough time (this is His grace) to claim His mercy.

Going back to what I realized yesterday, (on a personal context) God brought me back to Him out of His love and mercy. Had I not responded, each day would bring me closer to a fearsome judgment which would call for my doom. Be holy, for your God is holy. Although my decision to pick Thursday as off-set was Football, God knew and did better. I even got to see my friends from CDO again.

My friends/spiritual family from CDO has a special place in my heart and life. They do remind me of a number of things, which mostly are about the things to come.

Today's reading is John 15, where Jesus said, "Apart from Me you can do nothing." Indeed! It is so true in every area of my life. Moreover, it's a good reminder that I "couldn't do anything" without Him. It's a simple Math. With Christ, all is well. Without Christ, it's trouble.

Although I am aware of it, I dare say that I am now more dependent on Christ. My spirit tells me that it's like without Christ I am as good as dead. I've experienced that. Without Jesus, life has just no meaning. It was like it would've been better for me to have not existed. But I thank God that such is not the case. I see things better again. Life is worth living because my Saviour lives.

Una para año

Never thought it'd take me two weeks and a day before having my first post for this year. 

January-1. I was actually planning to write something on this day since we spent the New Year's eve at the Reyes' residence. It was my second. The first was back in 2013/2014. I even met Ate Noelle Pimentel, a fellow Gamer Clan member. It's been a while since the last time I saw her. I think the last was back in 2007 or earlier. 

It was nice to see the Reyes Family again. It's good to be reconnected.

The first few days of the year were spent for pencil-planning. I've had plans but they were still for approval. The final planning, for the major things, was finalized on January 9. That was Saturday. There were still polishing of my plans after the 9th but just minor things I'd say except for my "assigned" prayer points for each day. I think I've only finished it this week.

January-3. I left my mobile phone at home in Antipolo. I just found out when I got home in Makati. I've been actually thinking of using my phone less. I wondered what it'd be like to live like how life was before. Just the landline and letters. Stress free life.

January-4. It was our first day back to work. If I still had my "November mind," I'd say I would've been pretty tense that day. Thank God I was not. I had with me a calm and expectant mindset, without losing my 'give it your best shot' attitude. 

Well, there was something that had been a preoccupation during the first days of that week so I had to keep on praying to God, trusting Him that all will be well. 

January-7. I got my prayer answered. I also had this experience: PM Lift - ishouni. Kami-sama, doomo arigatou gozaimashita.

January-9. I can't remember how I got into a particular verse from the Scriptures. The first time I encountered it was in 2011, before I flew for Taiwan to watch Long Teng Cup in Kaohsiung. The verse reminded me of what was about to come and I just got so thankful. It was like I got a huge picture of what my life was about. I did say "huge," right? It's that huge that I don't quite understand it. Hahaha! It was a WOW moment, though I first felt grateful. It made me feel and think like, I do have the right to live. I have the right to be born. And I thank God for that.

January-10. Seems like I got my wish answered. I couldn't find my phone at home in Antipolo. I've lost any idea where I could've possibly left it.

January-13. We had our Praise Team meeting at Big City since Yoshinoya was closed since 6PM that day for their annual Christmas Party. Yes, annual Christmas Party. That's what was written on the notice on their door. Anyway, we had a test that night. I was nervous, of course. Haven't really done it before. When I was done, I found it funny how two of our friends thought I wasn't breathing. I have the tendency to talk fast and I talk faster when nervous. Besides that, I was surprised with how they found my delivery of the test. Truth be told, I didn't have the confidence about that. But then, no matter how confident I would be if there's no heart in it, it'd still be nothing. Without the Lord's anointing, my words would be empty. No power at all. Still, it was good to know that I could deliver.

After our meeting, I was praying for the Lord's guidance, that He would lead my steps. And sure He did answer my prayer right away. I happened to see a shirt that says, "It's time to save a life." Of course I was reminded of my profession. And I was definitely reminded of the souls that need to be saved. My heart was kind of in a vigilant mode, like I could get sent [to war] any time. I wasn't sent to a war or any trouble. I was sent to something good. I was sent to harvest. I was given the privilege to harvest! Praise God for that.

January-14. I'm not sure if it was on this day or the day before when my officemate showed me photos of cats depicted as people in the office, from the CEO to the intern. The cats were so cute I couldn't help but kind of squealed. I'm going to look for those images.

I found it!

January-15. This is today. Before the day was over, our boss talked to me and my officemate. As he was speaking, I got reminded of a particular goal for this year. I've been thinking of doing what our boss was saying but I guess I got stiff with my time. I've lost the drive to be flexible. I was taking control of my time the wrong way. 

Throughout the time our boss was talking, I was just silent but I've been thinking that everything he said was a punching reminder to me. I have to add the "punching" part because it was not just my ears that got the message. It was not the first time that my boss' message went deep beyond his intent. Perhaps he wasn't just talking about work but also about life in general. In short, they were words of wisdom. I'd be very foolish if I don't take those words to heart.

Well, for a first entry this one is pretty long. But then, it's already been fifteen days.

Now Playing: Hillsong - At The Cross