Saturday

The sun hasn't even risen yet but I already encountered Murphy's Law. And yet again in the afternoon. It was so annoying. But I had to deal with it. Such encounters were all my fault, unfortunately.

Thankfully, I saw my 3 favourite car brands. Number one even showed up twice. I feel like God has redeemed this day. And for that I feel at peace and grateful.

Now Playing: BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko

Crazy

I got lost, distracted. I've already prepared in my head what to write for this entry, for now as there are a lot to write, but everything got swept into the sea. Crazy. Well, I spent quite a time watching YouTube vids of CRA casts appearances. That's why.

It reminded me though of something I've been thinking a lot before, for some years. Well, I still think about it from time to time. For now I am committed to what I have. But somehow things don't seem to fit and you get to have an urge to do something unusual. I wanted to say "crazy" but I've always been one so that would just be "normal" me.

Few of these past days without work were spent somewhere, particularly in Cavite and Batangas, respectively. Having gone so I realized I should've done that before. Both provinces are in the same region. I live in the same region, for goodness' sake!

Kawit, Cavite was an obvious first choice because it's the closest to Metro Manila, and for the reason that at the time I was quite preoccupied with the Philippines' first dictator and president, Gen. Emilio Aguinaldo y Famy.

The quick trip was a revelation, not just of Pres. Aguinaldo but also of Kawit. I was particularly intrigued with architecture and trade during his youth and early adult years. So I left Kawit with a lot of curiosity and considerations. Knowing there would be a whole lot of them, I decided to pursue an another crazy plan: watch GOYO: Ang Batang Heneral again, only after a week's interval.

The memories and curiosities from my Kawit trip still haunt me so I thought I should push for the Tanauan trip. And I just did that, in a crazy manner I must admit. I'm simply sweet lemon-ing it, thinking that it's for the town now city that has given and produced a son who has done a tremendous thing for our country, for our nation.

Unfortunately, I forgot that it was Monday when I would be having the visit to Apolinario Mabini's shrine. National museum and/or shrines are closed on Mondays. Heck. Thankfully, Tanauan has other things to offer. I will talk about it another time. It deserves a separate entry, so does my Kawit trip.


Now Playing: Kina Grannis - Issues (Julia Michaels)

Writing

There are a lot of things to write, as much as I have a lot to read. But same problem, making time.

Concerning current events, I want to write about the recent ruling of UNESCO about the Tomb of the Patriarchs. I did write multiple 140-character limited comments but I want to write something better, like an essay. Well, I'll just have to consolidate those comments and make them more cohesive.

There are also comments and reactions left unsaid and unwritten concerning dramas and movies even musical plays I've watched. I kind of miss the time when I was quick to write after finishing a material. But then those were the times that I didn't have much to do.

Personally, I don't know if there is much to write or anything interesting. Maybe I still have to write as a scribe would as I might need a reference one day. Or maybe because I just need to unload my mind with thoughts.

Now Playing: Dream High 2 OST - Hello to Myself

Deep Blue

15 March 2017, Wednesday.

It's a depressing day. Maybe I am depressed but am not sure if it's clinical or just plain deep blue feeling.

As if my recent personal circumstances are not enough, I've confirmed something two nights ago. I've had the evidence, among others, last year though it could be circumstantial but then it'd be illogical if it points to someone else.

It's tough because it gets to me although the offence is not directed to me. I can only imagine if it directly happened to me. There! Imagining myself to be in the direct position was what really got me. I hate that betrayal. I guess it's the primary reason I, and some particular people, are very wary of a particular situation. We've already witnessed betrayal by someone who is supposed to encourage us and be our role model.

What a tough situation! It's really heart breaking. It's not a tear-jerker, at least to me, but it still ignites something.

If I were in such a situation, I'm not really sure how to handle it. It's not unlikely for me to lose trust. Anyone would. I'm already losing the trust of the offender. I don't actually remember fully trusting this person before though I've pushed myself many times to give this person a chance. You know, the benefit of the doubt.

What I hate the most was a particular claim. It's like lying to our faces, or under oath. It would've been better if no claim was made to us.

Head shot

I am not fond of taking selfies and I only do to sort of monitor my skin condition. This is one of the photos I've taken this year and I thought I'd share. Just because.

Not sure if it's a naked face (with brows done and lips with tinted lip balm) or one with mineral powder on.

Winter in the Village

We spent the New Year's Eve at Midas Hotel where I saw this miniature village in winter. Definitely reminds me of My Love from the Star. Do Min-Joon, Cheon Song-Yi.



Just saying. Just sharing.

Hello 2017!

Appelle

I'm having a lot of feels at the moment. For one, Nas' advancing moves baffle me. I still haven't come to terms in trusting her. For the other, I'm always running into something -a particular name or its meaning- that I've been trying to stay away from.

So this "thing" had me these things:

- A dream early this week about the bearer, half-naked while probably putting stuff into a gym bag but I only saw through my peripheries;

- Opening my eyes from a nap directly staring at a jeepney that bears its meaning (*toot* of sage) last Thursday;

- Found self staring at spa's signage (Eegal *toot*) while the UV Express was waiting for the green light on the way to Friday-shift;

- Reading an article that mentions the name just a couple of minutes ago.

Said I'm staying away from this name not because it brings back bad memories. Actually, it's quite the other thing. However, before the other thing happens it brings confusion. It makes me confused because I usually run into it so I try to stay away from it. It's something that just stands out.

So now I decide to have my shift on another Susie Suh marathon.

Now Playing: Love is on the way

RT and US

RT

Since discovering Russia Today last year, I've never been interested to mainstream media anymore. Not that I stopped watching or listening to some. It's just that my standards were raised as the news I read from RT are relevant but usually unreported by most media outlets. I also appreciate the perspective.

Of course there will be an obvious difference of perspective. RT is state-owned, by Russia obviously. As a person who likes or prefers to listen to both or all parties involved, it's good to know a different point of view albeit the source is linked to a state that's quite controversial. Thinking about it, Russia deserves the benefit of the doubt. At the same time, we can't just take what the West says on face value.

US

As a Filipino, I think it's given if I give Uncle Sam more benefit of the doubt. But there's just a lot of conspiracy theories things that have happened, are happening, and will happen that feed doubts and concerns on our supposed ally, not just for issues concerning the Philippines but about their foreign policy in general. 

It's heart breaking. You can't help but question their motives and sincerity. I understand that they have to think of their personal interest before us, and that's how things should be, but not through abuse and deceit and what have you. No wonder our current president hates Uncle Sam.

I don't hate Uncle Sam. Not anymore. Not since I started rooting for the New York Yankees and got reminded of John 3:16. Because yes, God loves the Americans too. The Lord Jesus also died for them. Ergo, I have to love them. Based on 1 Corinthians 13. But don't expect me to be so fond of them the way most of my countrymen do because I still remember why the child in me didn't like the Americans. Let's just say I've forgiven them for what they did to the Filipinos back in history.

Yeah, I've never been fond of the Americans since I was a kid, even before I graduated from primary school.

I think I have to be proud of my little self because even at young age, I've had an independent and non-mainstream mentality. Silly as it may sound but I think I want to meet my little self and give her a pat on the back, tell her that she's doing fine. And that she's cool.

Now Playing: Susie Suh - Lucille

Spin

I am surprised how the brain can stretch to handle a number of things at the same time and simultaneously. Sometimes I feel like asking my brain if it gets dizzy doing that, then I would remember the times such actually happened. 

There were even a point in time when I got so upset because I felt required to handle a number of things albeit by limitations. It was the first time I hated information overload. But after that, things seemed to have gone lighter. Let's just not talk about emotions.

The events these past couple of days quite remind me of the circular motion typical in our universe.

Things seem to spin 'round and 'round, pulling things to the core, bring 'em deep into the unknown. It's dizzying but only if you pay unnecessary attention to how things move. Yet if you look at particular things and focus on them when group, you'll see how each stand on its own with it's very own force.

Of course there's a lot of moment in my day when I come to fully sense how overwhelming things could get that I just wish it's already Thursday. Heaven knows what comes every Thursday. Or, when it's not Thursday, just take a nap (lots of it rather), play with the dogs, eat, or eat.

I'm going to need long walks.

Now Playing: Utada Hikaru - Flavour of Life

Dinner with Friends at TOSH

September 23 was set to be a dinner date with my GC friends at The Old Spaghetti House (TOSH). The last time we had a meal was a lunch at Rack's. It was Sis Aya's birthday.

We decided to have dinner at TOSH because of it's September eat-all-you-can promo. Just P149 for pasta-all-you-can and additiona; P50 if you want unlimited pizza.

Unfortunately, not everyone was able to make it because of some circumstances.

The photo on the right was one of the only four pictures we were able to have. The others were just the same, all post dinner shots. My apologies for the blur though.. 😌 Monika has better shot but I couldn't post it here.

I supposed we were too hungry to bother taking photo of our food before or while eating. 😅 🍕🍕🍕🍕🍝🍝🍝🍝😍

When topics over dinner range from arts, engineering, psychology, psychiatry, physics and other applied science and math, extreme sports, medicine, crimes, health and fitness, what “tosh” means, work, people, travelling, life in general, senate hearing, a bit of ‘DC universe’ reference, and a lot more in no particular order… it means any of the following:

• You have awesome friends who can talk about literally anything in the universe in 2 hours;
• Or, there was an INTJ and an INTP while the others were cool enough to listen and not stop them; 😜
• You haven’t seen each other for a while, like for almost 2 Olympics, or just a fortnight;
• It was an eat-all-you-can meal and someone ate worth 3 or 4 meals in two rounds; 😮
• All of the above.

I must say I’m blessed and grateful to meet and have such people in my life. ☺

Now Playing: Martine McBride - I Love You

On Chinese post against Pres. Duterte's policy

This is my comment to my friend's FB post sharing the article "Duterte’s war on drugs in the Philippines can’t hide his policy incompetence" from South China Morning Post:

I am hoping for our legislators to be very firm protecting and standing in behalf of our constitution and nation (tahimik kasi si SC). Should there be anything that could hurt us although 'one' could play around the constitution, may our legislators outsmart that one. May they not forget that their office is of equal 'standing' before our constitution.

It's good that the admin has the support of the mass but we can't always trust the masa. They don't always see the big picture and typical of us Filipino is being short-sighted. Ang Pilipinas ay hindi lang nabubuhay at mabubuhay during the president's six-year term. At wala tayong reelection. Kailangan practical and helpful for long-term implementation ang ginagawa. A drug-free Philippines is definitely good for our present and future, but how we achieve that has repercussions even now and of course in the future.

There are simply a lot of unnecessary comments and expressions from someone on top. Sayang ang 'puso' niya para sa bayan.

I'm neither an anti-Duterte nor pro-Duterte. I'm thankful we have a president like Rodrigo Duterte but it also concerns me how he deals with the international community especially with our allies. I am not a pro-America but they are an ally. We can't just dismiss them but I don't want their unnecessary interference, both for their and our good.

Now Playing: The Corrs - Radio

Flooded

It's 7:39 AM when I started writing this blog entry. And my head is oozing with ideas. I'm actually flooded with it. 

I got online after waking up and my mind has been thinking of this and that since. Perhaps it has something to do with my 12 hours of sleep.

Can't just stop thinking. It's not really a bad thing but my utmost concern is how to act on them. A lot of my thoughts, like any other, would be better if they are executed. No matter how imperfect. Two things though: 1, I don't know how to start; 2, a thought is easily overwhelmed by at least two others so I can't focus on the execution plan, not to mention the execution itself.

If I were a typical INTP, I would just think and think non-stop. But I also have INTJ tendencies so it's important for me to see things through, to see them become a reality, the concrete way.

Because of this dilemma, I just have to write. I have to let some thoughts out of my head so I end up writing but having already posted two blogs since I woke up is not enough. I could write about other things but I have to stop myself. 

It feels terrible to be "locked" this way.

Now Playing: The Spanish Guitar - Scarborough Fair

Fashion Realization

A lot of us have read that Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg have been wearing the same thing like since forever. I've also read that President Barack Obama does the same, and that there are others who have the same lifestyle.

Reading the accounts made me reconsider my clothing style. For those three mentioned, it's to pave the decision-making they have to make each day. For Pres. Obama, that's a whole lot of decision, every minute.

So I thought perhaps I can learn more than a thing from these men. And it's true.

I realized that it is indeed so unnecessary to spend so much time thinking what to wear when you have a day ahead of you awaiting for bigger and more important decisions.

When I thought of sticking to literally one general look of style, I thought that seems unlikely for me. There are dress codes in different places and occasions, which are not bad, so perhaps I could stick to one colour only like what Johnny Cash was known for, "The Man in Black." But I like different colours, or shades rather.

Blue, Green, and Red are my favourite colours but I also tend to get attracted to the shade of old rose. And I've never liked pink. I guess one just can't be a racist even among the colours themselves.

While thinking about this matter, I remembered that I am woman. A female. Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, and Barack Obama are men. Male. So it means I have a different brain capacity. As a female, I am organically built to handle multiple things at the same time. I am not saying the male people are not able to do that. Of course they can, but not all of them are better equipped for such. 

Thinking further, it made me realize that it seems it really takes a big chuck of your mental energy to decide on clothing. I would like to keep that it mind. If we look at it, deciding what to wear comes pretty easy and naturally to women that they're taking it for granted. We take for granted that deciding what to wear, mixing and matching, is actually a skill.

For now I decided that I will still wear different things albeit not like a bold fashionista. I've been thinking recently how to go minimalist and more importantly, sustainable. Perhaps I should finalize it sooner while I still have the luxury of "time" to do so. Who knows, the day will come when I could hardly decide what to wear. At least, when or if that day comes I am already equipped.

I am so looking forward to the day when I've already made a system that works and is sustainable. I won't have to waste resources on time, money, and energy for that matter. But as for now, it's still a work in progress and it's a conscious one.

Now Playing: The Soul's Release - Catching Fireflies

A Mind's Vision

I think it was last Tuesday or Wednesday when I thought I was still awake when in fact I was already asleep. I came to realize that I was in fact asleep when I tried to pull out my sleep mask but could not no matter how many times I tried. It was like the movie Inception. Even before that, I sensed that I could 'navigate' what was 'in front' of me as if my sleep mask was only a lace which still gives me a glimpse of what's in front.

This incident came to my remembrance as I read a BBC article about Tunnel Vision. The subject could not see the whole picture quite literally. She could see an object or image but would fail to identify the other items. That's what she's aware of consciously. I believe her unconscious mind has been aware of the other things all along. It's interesting though why her brain would withhold an information that is typically and readily available to other people.

Overall, the brain has always been an interesting organ. It's both complex and fascinating at the same time.

Random Post Blindspot Thoughts

It feels very much like how Jane came out of that bag at the Time Square. Well, at least after she recovered from the blinding lights. It's like facing a fork wondering which way to go. It's pretty confusing. Which is right, which is not? Which is safe, which one is a trap?

There're a whole lot of skills set available for survival but things don't seem to get right. It's never that sweet spot feeling. Sometimes I wish I could put on INTJ's decisiveness and make that decision then immediately work on it. Although I have INTJ tendencies, it's that trait that I can't or could hardly put on. The doubts, perhaps even fear or anxiety, just keep holding back. But more than the doubt, it just never feels right.

And yes, it brings me back to Jane Doe. Although our situations are not the same, there's a similarity. There's something that I could relate with her. Too much blindspot. Blindspot.

Well, I am making the connection because I missed Blindspot a lot. I can't wait for episode 2 but I'm glad to take the time. The season 2 premiere was intense enough.

I can actually work things through pouring everything whenever possible, but it's the lack of eureka that keeps me from doing so. Until I firmly believe in something, everything else is clouded.

Something's been bugging me since late last month. I tried to "close" it because it's consuming much of my "thinking time" but it's been pretty persistent. I've actually made an attempt to close it a couple of years back but it wasn't successful. I'm hoping I could close things properly, if ever they need to be closed. And it'd be great if I could tell which way to go if I see that fork again.

Now Playing: Susie Suh - Give Me Heart

Random comment #1

It's my comment on a friend's Facebook post against the alleged tactics of the "yellow army" or Liberal Party supporters with the recent appearance of Matobato as a witness on the Senate Hearing against alleged extra-judicial killings during the administration's anti-illegal drugs campaign.

It's annoying that a lot of people are blaming former President Ferdinand Marcos for all the troubles during the Martial Law. Although I firmly believe that Marcos should still be accountable of his term and administration, it doesn't mean salo niya ang lahat.

People, and whoever has the legal means, should prove in the court of law all their accusations and not just with stories. Para matapos na. I'm not saying the killings and rape stories are not true. Ang daming pamilya ang nag-suffer dahil may kaanak silang na-torture, rape, at napatay. Legit 'yun. Pero sino ba talaga ang totoo at dapat managot?

What if hindi pala lahat ng bintang nila kay FM ay totoo? What if hindi pala talaga kasalanan ni FM 'yun? Pero si FM at ang Marcos family sinisisi nila. Nasaan ang hustisya r'on? Magdusa man ang mga Marcos kung hindi naman sila ang totoong may kasalanan, wala rin ang akala nilang hustisya. Malaya pa rin ang sino man dapat managot. Hindi 'yun makatarungan.

Kung si FM naman talaga ang dapat na managot sa lahat, tapusin na ang kaso. Isara na at ibigay na ang hustisya sa mga biktima. 'Wag na patagalin dahil ang daming tao ang nagdurusa at umaasa ng hustisya.

I'm posting it here kasi ang haba. Hahaha.

And for the record, I find it sad that people see the Liberal Party supporters in general as if everyone thinks, says, and acts the same way. I have a friend who is a strong supporter of the Liberal Party yet he thinks on his own, logically and sensibly. We need more people like him, not just among the LP supporters but also among other politicians' or parties' supporters.

Now Playing: Up Dharma Down - Tadhana

Common Sense

I wonder where I could buy common sense. I'd be giving tons away to particular people, new graduates who were any of the following:

• Absent during their classes;
• Cheated on their attendance during on-the-job training days;
• Didn't do anything productive during on-the-job training days;
• Didn't actually go to college (O_o);
• Lacking imagination, resourcefulness, and yeah... common sense;
• Not aware of their actual duties and responsibilities;
• Not human. They don't have heart either for their job or for people.

Shoganai ne...

This Dress

I saw this ad featuring clothes while browsing news online. There were a few that caught my attention but this one (on the right) captured the most.

Actually, the first one I saw was in grey but as I looked into the site, I found other colours for this dress. I liked the white/cream most, perhaps because of my current mood, just not the shoes. The other colours are good too.

What initially caught my attention was its not so asymmetrical cut at the base. I think it's flowy enough, which is my thing, but not so much that would risk anyone wearing it to let other people have a peek underneath.

Preferring the colour white/cream because I got reminded of nature during daytime. It gives a sense of freedom and carefree spirit. I would love to purchase a dress like this and hopefully it's on a reasonable and affordable price. #Frugal

Tu me manques...

I can't wait for September. I miss Blindspot and The Blacklist. The next/latest seasons will premiere on September 14 and 22, respectively.

Just three weeks to go to finally see Jane Doe, Kurt Weller, Patterson, Dr. Robert Borden, and the rest of the NY gang.I miss 'em all but mostly these ones I named.

Speaking of Patterson and Borden, I think they are cute together. I'd like them to end up together. That'd be sweet. But that would be a conflict, since Dr. Borden is the resident psychiatrist of the unit. Basically, Patterson and the rest of the gang are his patients.

But they're just so cute together. Perhaps they can just be close friends. Very close friends that you'd wonder if there's something romantic or if it's just plain cryptic platonic. The main story is not about them anyway so there shouldn't be a big deal about these two. A hint or two, or more, will be fine. It'd be enough to warm the fandom.

So while waiting for the next couple of weeks, I'm banking on what Patterson said.

Between Blindspot and The Blacklist, I'm not sure which one I love more. But do I really have to choose one over the other? I'd sayd these two top the list of series that are so dear to me. At least recently. I think Prison Break is still capable of putting up a fight. Actually, it doesn't even have to. It's among my all-time favourite TV series.

So, for The Blacklist... I wonder what's in store for everyone especially the Keens, particularly Liz and this so-called Russian identity. Truth be told, I'm not buying what Alexander Kirk said. No. 

There's just no enough evidence and not enough to support Kirk's claim. And I think it's easier to buy the thought that Jane is Taylor but believing that is just too much of a history manipulated. So technically, it's something unlikely too.

I just read this transcript of interview with The Blacklist director Michael Watkins. Of course he was talking about the show, and more. He said asomething about James Spyder. Interesting. Very interesting. It just reminded me of an IG post by PJ Pascual leading me to a "Scarlett moment," which I'll write about that later.

Now I wonder if I am on the right blog as I write this. Perhaps I'll make a copy on my other blog. Yes, I should do that.