Deep Blue

15 March 2017, Wednesday.

It's a depressing day. Maybe I am depressed but am not sure if it's clinical or just plain deep blue feeling.

As if my recent personal circumstances are not enough, I've confirmed something two nights ago. I've had the evidence, among others, last year though it could be circumstantial but then it'd be illogical if it points to someone else.

It's tough because it gets to me although the offence is not directed to me. I can only imagine if it directly happened to me. There! Imagining myself to be in the direct position was what really got me. I hate that betrayal. I guess it's the primary reason I, and some particular people, are very wary of a particular situation. We've already witnessed betrayal by someone who is supposed to encourage us and be our role model.

What a tough situation! It's really heart breaking. It's not a tear-jerker, at least to me, but it still ignites something.

If I were in such a situation, I'm not really sure how to handle it. It's not unlikely for me to lose trust. Anyone would. I'm already losing the trust of the offender. I don't actually remember fully trusting this person before though I've pushed myself many times to give this person a chance. You know, the benefit of the doubt.

What I hate the most was a particular claim. It's like lying to our faces, or under oath. It would've been better if no claim was made to us.