Regret? Disappointment?

I am thinking which I actually feel at the moment.

It's been three sets of payments after a particular firm got one of their acts together, because they got fined. It's also been the third time the same particular firm missed to pay me on time. This got me thinking if it's an isolated case because the others already got paid. Oh yeah, besides the due payment the firm also failed to settle my other accounts albeit my number of attempts to reach out and remind them of these dues.

Don't ask me though for the specific number of times. I've lost count.

Regret. I'm not really sure about this. I believe things happen for a reason. If you can't figure out what, make your own reason. I can't really say I regret partnering with this firm because I've learned a lot, though it's given I make out the most of the possible learning I could get out of something. I'm an INTP after all. Besides, I've also met nice people. Of course, we can't dismiss meeting not-so-nice people too. Yet I can't deny that somewhere at the back of my mind there's a thought of regret for saying yes to someone who brought me back to this firm.

Disappointment. For all these months spent stretching my patience, spending such time for perhaps in vain, putting myself up in a lot of... yeah, disappointment. There's been just a lot all these time especially after trying to reach out, hoping the firm would treat me humanely.

I am tired. I don't want to speak any more of disappointment, not even about regret.

Before finding out about my third consecutive late due payment, I told myself that I would settle what people owe me. It's like a seven-year-sabbath when you cancel debts. I intend to do that. I would free people from what they owe me before the end years. But, at the same time, I will lift all these debts to the LORD. I will let God do the judging.

"Vengeance is Mine," says the LORD. "I will repay."

In short, karma. That gives me peace.

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