The Beginning of Months

This month shall be for you the beginning of months. It shall be the first month of the year for you. 

- Exodus 12:2

The scripture above is taken from today's daily Bible reading (reference). It is so timely for today is the first day of the month of March. However, something else hit me.

I made a mistake on this first day. No, it's not about coming to work at 8AM when I'm actually on mid-shift every Tuesday. Going back, it feels terrible and horrible. I need a change of mind for this, like never to toy with the thought again. Ever. I don't want to go back that way. It breaks my heart.

When I woke up this morning, I had a dream which made me think that such served as a warning. But heeding the warning I did not. So now I suffer the consequence.

I believe what God said in 1 John 1:9, but something else seems missing. It's definitely on my part though I am not sure what. If only I could turn back time. However, if such was possible would I really turn away from it?

While writing this, as I am on my dinner break, I am listening to "Repentance from Dead Works" by Rev. Neville Johnson. Doing so makes me more convicted of what I did. But I think I also feel condemned. It's heart-breaking.