Yom Kippur thoughts

Yom Kippur has just ended but I feel like I have to treat the next days as one. First, I'm no orthodox in observing this holiday. I don't remember being orthodox with anything. Judaism is not my religion. I don't even have one to begin with. But I am a Christian.

The thing that sticks most with me within the past 24 hours is how I make choices in this life. I can't just "live" in a fleeting manner. I'm not here to simply get through the day, so I make the most of what I have and what I can the best way I know and believe.

Since last month, something has been pretty persistent that it has become quite a preoccupation. It got stronger each day that I would sometimes find myself  "consumed" by it. It just won't let go. I've thought that I got to do something about it. It's not going to be easy. There will be a lot of uncertainties, not to mention that I am quite cynical so good luck to that. But despite all these, I know that I have to "follow" it, lest I either regret it when my life ends or get bothered every single day.

If I fail, I thought, so be it. I know I would give my best shot, which somehow puts me at ease. I just want to make sure that I am not neglecting it.

Earlier, a moment of anxiety hit me. But I got reminded of all the people who failed, not once or even twice, until they made it. I got reminded of someone's post saying that if it doesn't scare you then you don't really want it, something like that. Not knowing what tomorrow holds without any guarantee that I can take hold of the control wheel...

But I know I still have something that I can truly control - my reaction. It's a matter of faith and what mine is made of.

Now Playing: Bon Jovi - Always