A Fool

A terrible fool, that's what I have been. I don't want to make excuses with whatever is going on inside and out of my personal life, for my actions have yielded to results I am not proud of. And I am utterly disappointed, but at the same time I want to show myself the love and care I need. I do not seek them from anyone but God. So everything is between me and God.

But it hurts me so bad how things have become, for there are people who depend on me. And now they will be, and are, affected.

Redeem me, O LORD. Have mercy on me according to Your lovingkindness, for Your name's sake. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation. Let me live, for the dead will not praise You. And let me live with dignity. May people bless Your name when they remember me.

Save me, O God.

"Simple Celebration"

I've just read from someone's FB MyDay story about "simple celebration" for his mother's birthday. Then it hit me.. when did I last make a celebration? When did I last celebrated my birthday?

I would always thank God on my birthday, because He allowed me to live another day, another year. But as I think about it, seems like I've been doing that out of obligation. It's like, "yeah, I'm still alive so thank You."

I am sorry, LORD. Please restore to me the joy of Your salvation.