Stages of Recovery

I don't actually recall a so-called "Stages of Recover" when I was studying BSN. Nor did I encounter such after college. But I wonder if there is, even if it's just an assumption. If so, I'd like to check it and find out where I am at the moment.

Just like the previous year, August and September are troublesome months for me. It's like a season of visit to the abyss. I can't remember if I was able to pick myself up right away last year but for this year I think I've been quite consciously yearning for an early recovery. I guess because I had the awareness that the abyss is deeper and darker this time. I've been getting a lot of hits even back in July. Perhaps everything started in July.

Performance-wise at work, I think I'm making some significant improvements. My attendance is another story though. However, what's been hit big time from this abyss season is my business. There's been prolonged stagnancy and with this year or season's abyss visit, I must admit I've neglected it. I just couldn't push myself. And with my coping mechanism of isolation, things got worse.

Perhaps the Chinese dramas were what kept me going. And I think the turning point was when I met and processed BamBam for his departure from his last visit. I got excited and nervous at the same. I guess that was the feeling they've always been saying. I couldn't imagine such polarity until that Departure post as SA at the Annex. I was actually super late that day, and I thank God I was. Because I got to meet BamBam up close.

GOT7, GOT7! You guys always help me get out of the abyss and overcome my eclipse. Thank You, LORD, for these amazing men.

Now Playing: GOT7 - Eclipse

Caffeine Surge

Haven't had coffee or anything with caffeine these past 10 days that my first intake gives me an unusual anxiety. At least it's only physical, though it may have been aggravated by my current thoughts and emotions.

I actually have to drink osmanthus tea to calm myself. This new favourite drink somehow soothes me, though I'm not sure if it actually has that effect or if it's just personal. I love sipping a hot osmanthus tea, which I usually brew with butterfly pea and honey. I'm having a plain one this time. This anxiety feels a little urgent. Or maybe I'm just being lazy.

It doesn't help that I haven't read from Mo Dao Zu Shi manhua's the current The Untamed episode that I am watching. And I don't remember this in the donghua. So the live-action was adapted from the novel. Now I'm a little itchy to read it. I hope it's available in WebNovel.

Reminds me though, perhaps the T2 matrix also keeps me tachycardic. I initially thought my duty will start on the 18th. Good thing I check our Viber group and found out I'm off for work tomorrow. No wonder the shuttle service schedule didn't match, with what I thought. I was hoping I could sleep late again tonight. Okay, I didn't sleep late. I actually slept a little past 4 o'clock. Talk about supposed normalizing my body clock. Perhaps I could learn from Lan Wangji.

I wonder what's in store at the borders tomorrow. By the way, my caffeine induced anxiety still lingers.

Now Playing: Do As Infinity - Fukai Mori

Catch Up Sleep

It's not uncommon for IOs to have irregular body clock, especially during this ECQ days. NAIA Terminals 2 and 3 are closed so we've been all assigned to T1. Given that there's not much flights, we're on skeletal work force. I don't know with those from other terminals but as for us from T2, we have  3 days work then 2 days off in total. How that's distributed varies. Thankfully for me, it was 3-2 recently. Meaning, I get 2 days off ahead before T1 changes terminal-admin.

Working first then take my leave off duty is my cup of tea. But as I just finished my shift yesterday, I felt I had to catch up with sleep. My intention was only to take a nap, two hours the most. As I've been sleep deprived recently, I went on 5 hours of sleep, which is just an hour more than my average regular sleep.

Of course I skipped dinner albeit unintentionally,  but I had a midnight meal of instant rice meal - a Thai Red Curry, which I never thought existed.

I haven't gone back to sleep yet since my waking up from my "supposed" nap. It'd be nice to have a normal and healthy sleep pattern. Besides the basic benefits, I need to get rid of my eyebags. I look like a panda minus the cuteness.

Now Playing: Cocco - Raining

Remembering the end and the beginning

My oh my. Time flies indeed. I still remember preparing for our batch training's orientation at the main office in Intramuros like it was just last week. I can even imagine it like it was just yesterday.

Okay. That was back in February 28th, a Wednesday. But I got the notice only four days earlier. I didn't expect it to be very snap, snap, snap! We were told that we'd be heading to the academy the next Sunday. Wow. We only had 3 days to prepare everything, including telling our boss goodbye - for those who are already working in the bureau. Well, it was no shock for they already knew about the application. Still that was fast. Late but fast, like The Flash.

And so we gathered once again at the main office on a Sunday morning, embarking on a new adventure of a lifetime that would change our remaining lives. We arrived at the academy in Clark, Pampanga in the afternoon. It was so HOT but only the beginning of more almost dehydrating days.

We both knew and not what to expect. For the initially 100 people who made that decision to join the bureau in this manner, it was a ride of a lifetime.

Now Playing - Ang Huling El Bimbo