20 May 2016. 12:30AM
I just have to post this concern here. It's been my preoccupation these past days.
I've been looking for someone particular but my search before was not as assertive as the one I'm having recently to the point of almost obsession. What changed? Time. I'm racing against time. I don't even want to imagine what awaits if I lose. Too dangerous. There's just no way to go but find this person.
There were days when I would find this person but I usually barely have the opportunity to "catch" the person. My target is very elusive and fluid, having the ability to adapt into the environment. Sometimes my target blends in, sometimes it stands out. Either way, it's not easy to see its real identity.
Now Playing: Inner Universe (Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex OST)
21 May 2016. 03:00AM
I'm having sleep problem. I can't remember for how long now but I think it's been as long as I've gone started on my search project, which by the way is getting stronger by the hour. I really feel like I have to chase something.
Right now what bothers me is the realization that I am affected by something concerning my choices. When it comes to a particular category, I would back off and have lots of reservations when unlike before I would not be having second thoughts. It's like having this category is synonymous with drawing out my yes or affirmation.
But things have changed.
25 May 2016. 07:10PM
I had an appointment earlier that gets me confused on what to do. It's my chance to go Patterson but that could mean hanging around. On the other hand, I don't know how to start with the farewell. Meanwhile, a referral could have me dropped in an island.
Truth be told, I don't know which to choose.
19 June 2016. 5:16PM
I've been asked to make preparations and I wonder if I could complete the task. Part of me, like a big part of me, wants to. Another part of me wonders. It's an anxiety for I know not what shall be. I'm still hoping to have a shot to go Patterson. Yet I wonder, shall I be led to take a road similar, even quite, to what Alex and Liz had?
The confusion only grows.
22 June 2016. 08:07PM
June 20 got me doubting someone again. Made me wonder, what if his plans succeed? Will I get trapped again?
24 June 2016. 04:20PM
I've been listening to Susie Suh's songs lately, thanks to The Blacklist, and I just fell in love with her songs. It's like everything I feel were put into words, into song. There are a lot of songs that stand out though some only bear some lines not the entire song. But for Lucille, good heavens! It speaks how I feel these past days.
15 August 2016. 10:20PM
It's been almost two months since I updated this draft. I've seen glimpses of my target during these times but I can imagine the second thoughts given the events unfolding and continue to unfold. As of now, I'm holding on to the Scriptures I read earlier.
"...we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope..." - Romans 5:3,4
21 May 2016. 03:00AM
I'm having sleep problem. I can't remember for how long now but I think it's been as long as I've gone started on my search project, which by the way is getting stronger by the hour. I really feel like I have to chase something.
Right now what bothers me is the realization that I am affected by something concerning my choices. When it comes to a particular category, I would back off and have lots of reservations when unlike before I would not be having second thoughts. It's like having this category is synonymous with drawing out my yes or affirmation.
But things have changed.
25 May 2016. 07:10PM
I had an appointment earlier that gets me confused on what to do. It's my chance to go Patterson but that could mean hanging around. On the other hand, I don't know how to start with the farewell. Meanwhile, a referral could have me dropped in an island.
Truth be told, I don't know which to choose.
19 June 2016. 5:16PM
I've been asked to make preparations and I wonder if I could complete the task. Part of me, like a big part of me, wants to. Another part of me wonders. It's an anxiety for I know not what shall be. I'm still hoping to have a shot to go Patterson. Yet I wonder, shall I be led to take a road similar, even quite, to what Alex and Liz had?
The confusion only grows.
22 June 2016. 08:07PM
June 20 got me doubting someone again. Made me wonder, what if his plans succeed? Will I get trapped again?
24 June 2016. 04:20PM
I've been listening to Susie Suh's songs lately, thanks to The Blacklist, and I just fell in love with her songs. It's like everything I feel were put into words, into song. There are a lot of songs that stand out though some only bear some lines not the entire song. But for Lucille, good heavens! It speaks how I feel these past days.
15 August 2016. 10:20PM
It's been almost two months since I updated this draft. I've seen glimpses of my target during these times but I can imagine the second thoughts given the events unfolding and continue to unfold. As of now, I'm holding on to the Scriptures I read earlier.
"...we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope..." - Romans 5:3,4
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